The Penitent Song of the Sitter

Here I sit, with arms folded
and heart very much unabandoned.
My self-righteousness shining out
like a twisted, corrupting light,
darkening the hearts of those whom it illumines.

Any way but this, tell me, sweet Lord.
I want to love You with my whole heart
I want a knowledge of
and relationship with
to be my life's definition
(A blurry picture in an old Webster's)

What has happened to my heart, that such a tragic reversal;
The Divine feeling hellish to my calloused soul?
Father, I want to know You always,
But sometimes a cold, calculating passion
Doesn't feel pleasing to You.

If freedom is Your call
(The Glorious, Awe-inspiring trajectory)
Then what Devilish chains bind me to this mountain fortress
Where my heart sits cold and bitter and alone with You.
Your Spirit is my life, my all.
Glorious Trinity, more of You, I beg.
Lest I die here in this damned wilderness