Jonah

-42
You've really screwed things up this time.
Your grace has all the ill-timing of an unwanted guest.
The compassion I see: revolting; against everything that should be
My temper boils over in seconds as I watch Yours cooling for years.
Hate and bitterness my only companions
As I'm trapped here in this Eastward prison
Watching Your love

Because I; I still have much to prove,
I have vain hopes of winning; earning Your love like my childhood sweetheart.
And every day I sit in this Eastward prison
I see only failures, only constant impossibilities.
I sit with You, forced into watching, and because
Because I can't stand the man I am
I can't stand watching this boundless grace pour out
On the people who are me.
For I still have much to prove;
I can still earn the love that I hate, need, love.
Watching, waiting, planning,
Angry even to death,
In this Eastward prison